Bits and Bobs, Jokes, Pic's, Vids and some other stuff.

Interesting Pictures Click to enlarge.

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the carpenter fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."
"Yeah," says the bartender, "But what about that hook?  Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the blacksmith fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch?  Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened?  You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird crap!"
"Well," says the pirate, "It was my first day with the hook ."

If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be: but as it isn't, it ain't. That's logic.'

Guts or Balls..............

There is a medical distinction.    We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: 

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'' 

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys, smelling of perfume and beer,  lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the arse and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.'' 

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. 
 
Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death. 

DIRTY PICTURES?  Click Here (For Adults With a sense of humour only please)

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened!
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If things don't get any better and they don't get any worse, then they will stay the same.
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If we catch fish, it's because they are good angler's. If we don't catch fish, it's because I'm a crap Skipper.

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